the inner journeys
devotion to self
30 days of transformational inner journeys
You are here because something in you knows it is time.
Maybe life has been speaking loudly to you lately — through your body, through a feeling of unsafety,
through the quiet but persistent knowing that something needs to change.
Perhaps you’ve been dealing with a new level of uncertainty, or a frustration that you keep coming up against the same blocks.
You may have been on the healing path for years, doing the work, showing up, trying everything
and yet you keep hitting the same wall.
The same patterns. The same feelings. The same stuck places.
If any of this is true for you, I want you to know something important.
You are not failing. You are not broken. You are not behind.
You are at a threshold.
Your life is speaking loudly. Not to punish you, but because it is time.
Time to move through rather than around. Time to shift from the inside out.
Time to stop abandoning yourself in the very moments you need yourself most.
That is what Devotion to Self is really about.
Showing up for yourself in a way that creates a foundational shift from the inside out.
my devotion to self journey
my name is joanna
For most of my life I believed I was broken.
I carried a gaping emptiness inside myself for as long as I could remember. Alongside it lived shame, not about anything specific, just a pervasive, sourceless shame that coloured everything.
I oscillated between wanting to destroy myself and collapsing into long stretches of defeat and depression. I didn’t have many memories of my childhood. Just small snippets of things I thought were unusual.
So I did what many of us do, I buried them under enough noise and numbness to get through the days.
My whole life felt like a prison sentence.
Eventually I left everything, my job, my relationship, and moved to Bali. I didn’t have a plan. I just had a desperate need for change.
In Bali I met my now husband Shams-Tabriz, and I discovered a deep connection to the divine. As the light of that love grew around me, things that had been buried for decades began to rise to the surface.
I remembered being sexually abused in my childhood. For the first time in my life I understood why I had suffered to the depths that I had.
I wasn’t broken. I was deeply traumatized.
Those memories were the missing piece of a puzzle that had eluded me my entire life.
Then one day, we moved into our new home built on sacred land.
The energies of light loosened the deeper residues of darkness still held within me. And the fear came back. The nightmares returned. The inner children who had experienced the abuse had not yet fully released their fear.
They were still waiting. Their fear became my daily experience. I knew that what they needed — what I needed — was not more clarity. They needed me to show up for them. They needed to know someone cared enough to stay.
So I committed to forty days. One hour each day. Going within — not to fix anything, not to force anything — but simply to be present. To let those parts of me know I was there. That I wasn’t going anywhere. That they were safe.
the journeys
with my inner children
What happened over those forty days I could not have predicted.
During my inner journeys one by one the inner children within me began to show up. It started with my 5 year old self and then my 7 year old self and then my 10 year old self. They showed me each in different ways what they had been feeling for so long. I saw scars upon their bodies, I felt the pain they carried in their hearts. The cold icy fear they lived with rushed through my body. I witnessed their isolation. I cried with them, for them.
And the more they showed me the more emotions flooded through me. Some days I sobbed so deeply, as if an ocean of grief was permitted to move within me. Waves of despair crashing again and again, and then they calmed. A natural rising and falling where there was no resistance to feeling.
In the space of safety they were free to express what they had been holding on to for decades. Old emotions unlocked and were freed to be felt. And with each journey my body responded. I felt my body breathe deeper, I felt her let go.
My righteous rage
What happened after the waves of grief washed through me was a raging anger that burned through me. I had a deep desire to inflict my righteous rage upon the perpetrators of my abuse. And so we did.
Part of reclaiming what they took from me meant allowing my rage free reign within my inner journeys. And so I saw my inner children burn my abusers and burn down my childhood home. We burned them and took out our rage upon them day after day after day until the rage quietened down. And as the rage left I felt a pervasive sense of power. A deep, embodied, kick-ass power that I had never felt before.
I saw my inner children don black dock martin boots, sprout gleaming white angel wings and stomp out of the ruins of our childhood home, never to be taken advantage of again. I watched as flowers grew from the charred rubble of my childhood home and the children blossomed before my eyes.
They were not only healed, they were empowered. Radiant, glowing, unstoppable.
so many inner aspects showed up for healing
At this point I was in full flow of my inner journeys and I was floored by what was unfolding.
It felt like the biggest adventure of my life, and it was all happening within my inner plains. I had no plan for what was unfolding so each day I went within and invited any part of me who needed healing to come forward.
At one point I witnessed an entire crowd of people standing in the shadows waiting. And as I looked closer at their faces I realized they were all versions of me, still holding on to their own flavour of pain. I knew I had my work cut out, and so I continued to show up day after day, each journey taking me on a wild ride. Each one leaving me more empowered and steady than the last.
This was the first time that any of these parts of me were free to express, and it was truly liberating.
My rebellious inner teenager
After the inner journeys with the children I saw a teenage aspect of me show up. I was taken aback at how clearly I recognised the clothes I used to wear. I saw every small detail of her clothing, her jewellery, her hair colour. That’s how I could pinpoint her age, by what she was wearing.
I saw the scene play out of how her heart was broken repeatedly by the boy she adored in school. I felt her need to be loved, and I felt the pain of her rejection again pierce through me. All she wanted was to be loved but all she experienced was her abuse, in a different flavour, on repeat.
Just like the journeys with my inner children, as she released her pain, her anguish, her fear, she transformed before my eyes into a radiant and fearless young woman.
Then more and more inner aspects showed up, those who had been at University and had wanted to end it all.
Those who could see nothing but darkness, they all showed up and they all transformed one after the other.
My inner young woman who had been cut short
As I moved through the timeline of my life I saw so clearly how the patterns of abuse and shut down continued through my relationships. I revisited times when men used and abused my body, without my consent. Taking what they wanted and leaving me discarded.
I saw the pattern so painfully laid out before me. How I craved deeply, desperately to be loved, but how my abuse had patterned me to lean in to neglectful and damaging behaviour. Each suitor showing up as prince charming, each relationship disintegrating into yet more pain
I saw my hopes and dreams shattered. I saw talents and gifts lost by the wayside as all my efforts in life revolved around surviving. A life lost to pain.
But this journey of Devotion to Self was finally re-writing the script. And for the first time in my life, someone was showing up for me. Unwaveringly. Not looking away from the pain. Not running from it. But finally staying. And that person was me.
That’s all I needed; to be witnessed, to be honoured, to be held, to be loved. So the pain inside of me could finally let go of its grasp and give me space for living, not just surviving.
The painful map of my life unfolded before me like a tragedy. And for the first time I was able to drop into deep, sincere, compassion for myself. For my whole life I had blamed myself for my suffering. And now I could love myself in the way that I had been searching for my entire life.
I did not deserve blame, I deserved compassion. Non of this was my fault.
My healing gifts emerged
After 30 days of inner journeys I sat down to go within and no one showed up.
I opened up the sacred container and waited, and waited, and still no one came. I decided to go with the flow and I asked my body directly if there was any physical part of me that needed healing and I felt my liver twinge and beckon to me.
Instinctively I pulled my consciousness into the structure of my liver until I could see inside the cellular structure. And I saw toxins blocking up the cells. I saw pharmaceuticals, heavy metals and fatty deposits holding it all in place. I saw how my liver struggled because of my self-destructive habits.
And so I called in my guides and together we moved through a deep energetic healing session where we ran different energies through the cells of my liver. As we were coming to the end of the session I felt a ‘clunk’ inside my gut. An immediate physical cleansing took place and carried on for the rest of the day. My body releasing the fatty deposits and toxins I had seen.
I realised that as the dense emotions had been released through the inner journeys, my body was now ready to let go of her pain. The pathogens and toxins were now able to loosen and let go too and I marvelled at my lived experience of this divine emotional connection with my body.
I was rendered into a complete state of awe and excitement for what this meant. I had the ability to cleanse the cells of my body. Each day after that I worked on different parts of my body, feeling my body along with my gifts gradually come to life.
My Heroine’s Journey
After 40 Days of Inner Journeys I felt excited, I felt stronger, more grounded.
I felt safe in my body. I felt safe in my life.
I felt my multidimensionality as a real, tangible part of myself.
My mind was blown at what had unfolded. My heart was much lighter, and within this space I could for the first time in my life genuinely feel that my story wasn’t a tragedy, it was my own Heroine’s Journey.
It was the story of a woman who was born into the circumstances of darkness, so much so that she believed she was the darkness. Who eventually found her way back to the truth that she was in fact the light. As you are too.
My story was in no way a story of defeat, it was the journey from dark to light, from lost to found, from victimhood to true divine empowerment. The very journey that tests your resolve and asks you to step up, to rise in the midst of chaos, and reclaim your truth.
The truth that you are a bad-ass divine feminine embodiment of a love that is so fierce and so true that it can move mountains.
this is what Devotion to Self Gave me
and i want to give it to you too
Are You ready to embark on one of the most important journeys of your life?
My beautiful angel. If you say yes to this deep inner process I will walk you through the exact process I went through. Step by step holding you and guiding you each step of the way.
What Your Journey Could Look Like
Throughout your Devotion to Self journey you will move from being pulled apart by the unmet needs of the past to feeling freer, calmer and more expansive — ready to create your future from safety rather than survival. Each persons inner journeys will be different because our stories are all so unique, as are the gifts we came into this world with. As you follow the process you will have the journeys you need to have in the way you need to have them. My guided audio meditations will create a sacred energetic cocoon around you and lead you into a space where your inner aspects will feel safe and held. By following these meditations one by one they will begin to open up.
Who is this for?
This is for anyone who is ready to do the deep work of reclamation. Whether you're new to inner child work or for those who have been on the healing path for some time but keep hitting a wall. In some way life is speaking to you right now — through physical symptoms, upheaval, transition, frustration or dreams. You know something needs to shift. You just don't yet know how to make it happen.
the core insight
You may have been trying to heal without ever truly showing up for yourself.
Not fully, not deeply enough.
The missing piece isn’t more information or another modality. It’s presence. Real, consistent, devoted presence with your own inner aspects — the parts of yourself still carrying what happened, still waiting to be seen.
Within you live aspects of yourself from different times and experiences. Your inner child. Your inner teenager. Your inner young woman. And perhaps others — versions of yourself from times your conscious mind has no map for but your soul remembers completely. These aspects are still holding what happened. Still living in the time of it. Still waiting in pain — without knowing they are waiting — for you to come back for them.
When you do — when you show up consistently, with genuine devotion, and let them feel your presence — something extraordinary happens. They begin to release what they have been holding. The grief moves. The fear loosens. The rage finds its expression and transforms into power. And the beliefs they formed about who you are and whether you are safe and loved and worthy begin to dissolve — because they are no longer being held in place by unexpressed pain.
This is the shift that changes everything else.
Join the next live group in Nov 2026
30 Day live group
Inner Journeys- 30 Daily Practices, Meditations, Inner Journeys & Written Exercises
- Private Community Space - Be witnessed and held by others on the path
- 5 Live Calls with Joanna
- 3 Month Community Access
what you will receive
30 daily practices
Guided audio meditations, inner journey recordings, and written reflection exercises — one for each day of your journey. If you’ve not experienced one of Joanna’s guided meditations, you’re in for a treat. These are far more than just meditations, they impact you on every level of your being. Joanna is not alone when she guides you on these deep inner journeys, she calls in her guides who are experts at healing. As you listen to these audios you will be surrounded by a cocoon of catalytic energies that begin to break down any hardened energies that have formed within you. They are at once, transformative and gentle. You will deeply held and loved throughout, knowing what it feels like to touch the essence of divinity itself.
5 LIVE CALLS
We will gather for Live Opening and Closing Ceremonies and there will be 3 x 90 minute Integration and Energetic Sessions throughout the Inner Journey Period. Just like Joanna’s guided meditations, these live calls are infused with divine blessings. These calls will give you an opportunity to share with the other participants, ask questions and receive divine transmissions.
London (BST, UTC+1) → 11:00 AM
Berlin (CEST, UTC+2) → 12:00 PM (noon)
New York City (EDT, UTC−4) → 6:00 AM
a complete archive library
A complete archive library of eight pieces including a deep guide to understanding your inner aspects, your program map, your space preparation guide, and your daily reflection guide.
Everything you need to arrive at Day 1 feeling prepared, held and genuinely excited.
community of loving people
When you join the Devotion to Self – Inner Journeys you will have access to a community group where you will get support, understanding and connection. You will meet people who totally get you and who want to see you succeed. This is your space to drop in, share experiences and ask questions.
Here Joanna will drop in regularly with prompts, reminders and suggestions, to make your journey as impactful as possible.
3 month access to the Devotion to self methodology
When you join you will have access to the Devotion to Self methodology as a living practice for 3 months. As you most likely know, healing isn’t a one and done affair. It deepens and spirals back around to the same materials over again until you have the presence, patience and wherewithal to make different choices from a foundation of genuinely feeling safe. This takes time. And so the beauty of these devotional practices is that you can cycle back to any of the practices to deepen the work after the group journey is complete.
frequently Asked Questions
Will I be overwhelmed by all these emotions?
The way I designed the course is that you are lead gently into the journeys with your inner aspects. We set a powerful intention at the beginning of the course with your Higher Self and the Divine that you will only receive what you are ready to process and move through with ease. If you are feeling unstable, anxious or fearful before joining the course I would advise you to wait until a future program. In the meantime you may benefit more from 1:1 work or other types of trauma therapy.
Will I recover traumatic memories during the journeys?
You inner children will not show you anything that you are not ready to see and process. Before you decide to join the course drop in with yourself and see if this is the right time for you to join. It is an emotional journey but it doesn’t need to be a heavy one. My own personal journey felt liberating and expansive, even on the days when I was feeling grief and anger.
What if I can’t visualize my inner aspects?
Try not to come in with any beliefs in place that may hinder you having a deep experience. Most people when participating in my inner journeys are able to see something. Some people however feel that they cannot visualize when meditating, but this doesn’t mean that the inner child isn’t present. You may experience the inner child through emotions and may benefit from the automatic writing practices in the course.
what if I can't make the live calls?
Don’t worry you can watch the recordings from the calls the next day in the community area. The live calls are only a small part of the journey - the real work mostly happens when you go on the inner journeys in your own space. So even if the call times don't work for you, you can always leave a question in the community area and it can be answered on the call or within the community. Don't let the timings of the live calls put you off what will be an incredible experience.